Mama Ramblings: Quiet Time

As young people we think nothing of having quiet time and actually very rarely enjoy it.  Because if you're a teenager or in your early twenties more than likely you are almost always surrounded by friends or making plans to go out with them.  Then we get married and we still have some quiet time, not as much, but it's still there.  Then we have kids, and out the window our quiet time goes. 

Now we all know this will happen when we make the decision to have a child.  I remember thinking to myself that my life will no longer be my own and there would be a screaming baby interrupting my sleep, then a toddler and so on.  However, I never fully grasped the craving I would have for that missed quiet time.  I am a person who was perfectly happy having "me time".  I lived on my own (no I didn't even live with my now husband before we were married) for a good 4-5 years.  I loved having control of the remote, the contents of my fridge, and the evenings doing whatever I wanted in my own apartment.  When I started dating my husband a little of that time was given up and I struggled for a while to adjust. 

Confession: I am not one for change, I don't handle it well, never have never will. 

When we got married, there was a little less but I enjoyed coming home to someone else and reveling in being a newlywed.  Then came little Mister Grant.  He was probably the biggest adjustment I've ever made in my life and the best too.  I like to think Grant and I kind of grew up and adjusted together.  He is not one for change (wonder where he gets it?) and he was a difficult infant.  He and I took a long time to adjust to me learning my mothering role.  He and I were never apart for more than a total of 5 hours his first 10 months of life.  He didn't ride in a car without me in the same car until he was 11 months old.  All that time it was he and I together learning our roles (My husband was there part of the time but he worked long hours to support us).  Many people wonder why Grant is so attached to me and I so overprotectively attached to him and it baffles me that they can't figure it out.  The first 10 months of his life he saw my face nearly every second of the day (and it felt like every second of the night since he wasn't much for sleeping), so why wouldn't we be overly attached to each other?

Now that he is nearly 3 you would think we would have things down to a science but no such luck haha.  I firmly believe he has a 6th sense that is, "mama's doing something".  He knows when I get out of bed even when he is in his deepest sleep.  He is always up within 10 minutes of me getting up, so yes I practically run to the shower crossing my fingers I can get finished before I hear his feet hit the floor.  If he is watching a cartoon intently he will notice the second I get up to do something, even if his back is to me, I will inevitably hear the words "mama, what you doin'?"  Even if my response is "just going to the bathroom", he will no doubt follow me to make sure I'm not doing anything else he might be interested in "helping" with.

I fought against this for awhile, getting aggravated that I can't even go to the bathroom or take a shower without company, you would think after 3 years I would be used to it by now. 

What can I say I'm a slow learner. 

Or maybe just a teeny bit of a control freak who thinks she can have things her way (I've often thought God gave me Grant to change this negative personality trait and make me a better person:)

I'm trying to turn a new leaf, I remind myself that it won't be like this forever and I will miss these days when Grant is a teenager and would rather be out with friends or in his room by himself than with his mom.  I know I will look back and think I should have appreciated this time for what it is instead of fighting against it.  Children have such a short time to just be kids, innocent, hopeful, and unaware of the harsh realities out there.  This time is growing shorter and shorter nowadays, and I know the last thing I want him to remember about me is that I always wanted to be by myself or was aggravated all the time.  I pray quite frequently for more patience, understanding, and that Grant will forgive his Mama for her shortcomings.  I think as mom's we are always wondering whether we are doing a good job, always second guessing ourselves, hoping our kids will know we love them even when we are disciplining them or having a bad day.

Grant amazes me every day.  He is his own person, independent opinionated and strong minded at the age of nearly 3.  I know this next little one will amaze me as well.  And as for that quiet time, well I'm guessing this new little one will take up the little bit I have acquired over the last few years and we will all adjust to that as well.

My Picky Kid

Here is something I've learned over the last few weeks, or rather I'm trying to come to terms with....

I have a picky eating kid.

Why has it taken me so long to realize this you ask, since my son is almost 3?  Because I have been in pure denial and hoping it was a phase.  I think I have to give up that dream and realize this is not a phase but how he is.

My sister was a picky eater growing up and we still regularly tease her about her food groups: bologna, pop tarts, & chicken nuggets. 

I literally don't remember anything else the girl ate.  It was pop tarts for breakfast EVERYDAY, bologna sandwich with pickles on it for lunch EVERYDAY, and my mom kind of catered to her at dinner.  If she didn't like what my mom made, she made her something different.

I will say I never got such special treatment at meal times, but hey maybe that's just the middle child syndrome coming out in me :)

Grant will eat cereal every morning, or on the rare occasion I buy poptarts, he will eat those.  I have tried to be the good stay at home mom who cooks scrambled eggs, French toast, and pancakes, but they are a no go in the mornings.  It's cereal or poptarts. Period.

For lunch I actually ask him what he wants rather than making something and having to throw it away and it's 1 of 3 things: bologna, hot dogs, or peanut butter sandwich, and no lie most of the time he won't eat the veggie or fruit so am I a bad mom if I just leave them off the plate at times?

Please don't answer that.

For dinner I refuse to do as my mom did and fix 2 separate meals.  I have stood firmly by this since before I had kids.  I believe in the old school way of what's on the table is what you eat or you don't eat.  Now I'm not that mom who makes you eat everything on your plate regardless if you like it.  I have a vivid memory of my mom telling me I had to try my beans.  I repeatedly told her I didn't like them (as I had tried them before and realized they were, in my opinion, disgusting).  She made me try them anyway, so I did like a good little girl and proceeded to gag and throw them up.  She never again made me try something I said I didn't like....Lesson Learned.

I do make sure there is something I make I know he has ate before and likes.  But if I catered to only the meats I know he will eat, my husband and I would be eating bologna and hot dogs every day.  He will not eat any kind of pasta because there's stuff on it.  I tried being a good mom and only putting butter and parmesan cheese (which he likes) on it, but he's smarter than that and refused to touch it.  Instead he will eat 3 pieces of garlic bread and say he's done.

He will not eat any kind of meat with sauce on it, like BBQ chicken or pork.  I have yet to figure out why the child has refused to eat hamburger patties (no cheese of course because it's gooey, heaven forbid something be gooey) and will instead eat 2 hamburger buns.  Usually if I make regular seasoned pork chops he will put a piece to his tongue and proclaim immediately that it's yucky, and proceed to eat his body weight in potatoes.

I have found that he will eat soup.  However, what soup he will eat on any given day is a mystery and trial and error.  For example, there are days he will eat 3 servings of chicken noodle soup, then the next time I make it (during a completely different week) he won't touch it.  I also made chili a couple weeks ago, which I know he has ate a lot of and likes.  However this time he decided he didn't like any of the onions or diced tomatoes that were in it. 

"What the heck?"  I said out loud, "you liked them before".

To which he responded, "no, I don' wanna eat em, I don' like em."

To which I responded by rolling my eyes (and I wonder why my son rolls his eyes all the time,  can't imagine where he gets it).

I started giving him multivitamins to try to supplement some of what he might be missing.  He's super healthy from what I can tell and is growing like a weed so I'm not overly concerned about his health.  It's just really freakin' frustrating, and I maintain the only reason he is picky is because I vowed I would not make 2 different dinner meals for a picky child.  I think he heard me in utero and he has decided to test me. 

It's so like him, haha.  Always testing me, always trying to go against the grain. 

I have yet to figure out how to remedy this situation or if I should even try. 

Ok I'm done rambling now.

Sleep...Oh Sweet Sleep!

I have to shout this to the roof tops and I'm actually a little scared to do so for fear that it will end but I'm about to burst........

My little guy is sleeping through the night (ok, well technically til about 5:20 am but hey beggers can't be chooser's right?), in his own bed!!!!!!!!!!

Is that not the most wonderful news?

Almost like Christmas morning.

Probably not for you but it sure as heck is for me.  If you have read any of the random posts about Grant you know he has had horrible sleeping habits since he was 2 weeks old.  His napping through the day at 2 weeks was about 30 minutes to an hour 2-3 times a day and it took me the better part of an hour to get him to sleep in the first place. People have tried telling me it's all because I spoiled him or whatever, but seriously how much spoiling can you do in a week post birth?  So I whole heartedly disagree and chalk it up to Grant just trying his best to defy me where it hurts the most.....my sleep.

In his first year of life we moved about 3 times and each time there was an adjustment period and I would finally get him sleeping in his bed through the night and then go figure we would move again starting the draining process all over again.  I'm a sucker when it comes to my sleep. 

I like it.....I like it alot.

Most nights I would have no memory whatsoever of him crying and me getting him out of his bed and putting him in ours.

That's really bad isn't it.  Kind of like sleep walking, which creeps me out.

So I guess since I finally got him in his bed sleeping through the night we are due to move again.

Crap!

Counter Coloring

Santa brought Grant a coloring book in his stocking this year and I got it out for the first time the other day.  I got all excited to see him color with some washable markers I bought during school supply season.  So I got him all set up at the counter with his markers and Mickey coloring book and about 2 seconds after setting him in his seat with marker in hand he pushed the coloring book out of his way and started scribbling all over the counter.   Of course my first instinct was to say "no no, we don't color on the counter we color in our coloring book".  After about 3 times of me saying this I stepped back and thought why the heck am I wasting my energy when the markers are washable!

 

Who needs a coloring book when you have a counter?  Just a thought.

A Sleepless Naptime

Never in my years surrounded by children (and I have had countless years, more than most people) have I ever encountered a child like mine.  I have fought the nap war since week 2 after he was born.  Than is when it started.  I could not get him to sleep unless I held him and if I tried to put him down he screamed.  Mind you he never slept all the time like people tell you newborn babies do.  His "naps" were about 2 a day and each only about 30 minutes, if I was really lucky maybe an hour, and it took me at least an hour to get him to sleep in the first place.  Back then I frequently reminded myself that he would grow out of it, that this was a phase.
Fast forward 7 months and in an effort to get ready for daycare I put him in his bed for naps and he screams for at least 1-2 hours every single day before collapsing into exhaustion for a total of 45 minutes, again on a rare occasion I may get an hour and a half.
Fast forward to now and while when I tell him it's naptime he will crawl in my lap and be out in a total of 5 minutes (thank the good lord above for routines), getting him to sleep in his bed is still a war.  As I type this I am sitting on my bed while he is in his crib screaming.  It is now almost 2:30pm and we have been battling since 11:45am.  He was asleep when I brought him to his crib and his eyes popped open when his butt hit his mattress.  I refused to give in, knowing how unbelievably stubborn he can be and desperately needing him to get into a routine of sleeping in his bed.  We both got a break to eat and get a diaper change and then I put him right back in bed.  As he screams I feel a bit like a crappy mom, like I should just get him out and cuddle him for a couple minutes until he falls asleep.  However I know this will not help him and I know when it's time for me to go back to work I will only be punishing those who are willing to help us by watching him.
I feel like the only one whose child does this and it is a battle that after 19 months I feel like may never end.

Whoas of a Working Mom

Have I said yet that I so very much miss being a stay at home mom.  If I havn't, I'm saying it now.

I miss it.

Alot.

Not to say that every day was a 1950's tv show with the wife/mom in her heals cooking dinner and the kids playing quietly, so well behaved.  Many days my husband came home to me in my pj pants and grant laying on the floor screaming because I was trying to get dinner cooked and not paying him the attention he thought he deserved in that moment.

Now however I am slowly realizing how little time I have with him and he is growing so fast!  In the mornings I get at the most 1 hour, of which the majority is me getting ready and getting the diaper bag and lunches packed.  By the time I get home I get approximately 4 hours. 

Can I just say, 5 hours in a day is not enough, its just not.

Don't get me wrong I realize there are women out there who get less time, and those who never got the 9 months I was blessed with to stay home.   Call me spoiled but I want more.  I am realizing how quickly this time goes and how short of a time children are actually children.  The time in their life you are the center of their world and they think of you as super woman who can do anything.  I want every second of it I can get and right now it's just not happening.  Hopefully this won't be a forever thing and before my little man starts school I will get my stay-at-home-mommy days back.

To all of you reading this who are at home with your little ones, be thankful every day.  Even through the screaming and tantrums, because it's all worth it to be there when you dry their tears and they start smiling.

Mr. Energy

That is my son, Mr Energy.  Since he was 2 weeks old he has not slept like a normal baby (well, I guess what I would consider normal).  At 2 weeks old my days consisted of him screaming trying to stay awake and me rocking, bouncing, patting, or doing anything else I could think of to try to get him to pass out.  After literally over an hour of rocking, bouncing, or patting, he would fall asleep for all of 15 min only to repeat the cycle all over again.  People would tell me he should be sleeping the majority of the day, and when they would come over they always commented on how alert and wide eyed he was. 

For me there has never been such a thing as a power nap.  If I layed down for a nap I alotted at least 3 hours (needless to say I have not gotten a nap in 8 months), but Grant on the other hand can fall asleep for 10 minutes, wake himself up, and be wide awake for another 2 hours, and that's after he fought falling asleep in the first place for an hour and a half.

He has no real schedule because it all depends on how long he wants to fight.  I have never known a baby to fling, yes I said fling, himself all over the place to keep himself awake.  He also shakes himself awake when he is about to fall asleep.  If you are holding him while he is fighting, he will waller you to death, that in itself wears me out.

He still doesn't sleep through the night all the time.  If he wakes up in the middle of the night, or any other time for that matter, he thinks he should be up and out of bed.  The other night he didn't fall asleep until around ten, was up at 4am, didn't fall back asleep until almost 6am and then was up again at 7:15.  You would think not sleeping very well during the night would make for great naps during the day, wrong.  That same day he slept for 30 minutes in the morning and almost an hour in the afternoon, and no he didn't go to bed early that night.

Grant is definately one of a kind, and I wouldn't trade him for anything, but man it sure would be nice to get a little extra sleep sometimes.

Mom Moment: Getting Ready for Daycare

What's going on at my house you ask.  At this moment I am sitting in my living room listening to little Grant cry in his bed.  It kills me not to go pick him up but I know he is exhausted because he was sound asleep in my arms before I layed him in his bed.  This is an every day battle at my house.  Usually by Friday I have made progress and my husband is home and ruins all my hard work, he loves to spoil Grant. 

I will be starting work the beginning of August as an elementary school nurse.  The only way I was able to take the job is the on site daycare, which happens to be about 50 feet from my office.  While I'm not exactly excited about going back to work since that means I have 2 full time jobs, a nurse and a mom/wife, and I was really hoping I could be a full time stay at home mom until our kids were in school, but things happen and bills need to be paid and caught up so back to work I go!  I'm fully aware there are working mom's all over the country but how do they do it all?  I already have a hard time getting all the laundry, dishes, cleaning, and Grant stuff done by the end of the day and now I will have to get it all finished after 4pm.  I'm already starting to sweat just thinking about it.

Anyway my going back to work and Grant going into a daycare setting is the reason why I am sitting here listening to him cry.  Before he could stand, I could lay him in his bed and he would cry for a whole 5 minutes then fall asleep.  Since he has learned to stand he now stands up in his bed and screams as loud as he can in the hopes someone will get him out.  Up until last week I was getting him out after about 5 minutes, now I realize for the sake of his new daycare teacher, he really needs to start putting himself to sleep.  I've tried explaining that to my husband, the fact that Grant will not be the only child she is taking care of and she doesn't have and hour and a half to sit with him while he wallers her til he falls alseep, but he still doesn't want to let him cry himself to sleep.

So cross your fingers for me and say a little prayer that he will fall asleep soon before I can no longer resist the mommy urge to scoop him up and hold him while he sleeps.

Toy Story Time

Toy Story Time!  He loves Buzz and Woody. 

I'm so excited for this weekend, 1. because it's Grant's 1st 4th of July, 2. because I love all holidays, and 3. because we are taking Grant to his 1st movie, Cars2.  Yes, I know what you may be thinking, "why are you taking an 8 month old to the movies?"  I would be asking someone else the same thing before I had my son.  Because after all 8 month old's don't watch movies, wrong!  At least my 8 month old does, maybe he is wierd but he's my little wierd guy haha.

The Role of Mommy

Nothing is more satisfying, or more stressful than being a mom.  I love every minute of it, but even after everyone tells you these things you don't fully know until you become one.  I had been around kids my entire life and while I didn't pretend I knew everything, I thought I was pretty well prepared for motherhood.  I was under no illusion it would be all smiles and cuteness.  I was well aware of the getting up every 2 hours to feed, the crying fits when you have no clue why they are crying, the diaper blow outs, the being tired, etc, etc.  However the things I don't think about was the every day things you do that suddenly become harder to accomplish, or require a "game plan" so to speak.  For example every time I need to go to the store (any that aren't around the corner from my house), I have to start planning the night before.  I'm going over the list of things that need to be in order before leaving the house, diaper bag packed, clothes laid out, plan what time I need to shower, what time we will need to leave in order to not interrupt nap times or eating times.  And of course there is the routine before you leave the house, eat bottle, change diaper, get dressed, bib on (spit up is inevitable if you're planning on going anywhere), purse and diaper bag next to door, keys in pocket (otherwise they will be locked in the house), quick scan around to make sure everything is unplugged, turned off, and closed, change diaper again because leaving the house means it's time to poop.  All this takes about 30 minutes, 2 arm loads of stuff, and one screaming child for reasons unknown.

No longer are there leisurely dinners out.  No, eating out requires another bag of goodies to distract Grant with in order to keep him from screaming and disrupting others while they try to enjoy a meal.  We walk into a restaurant with arm fulls of stuff including a diaper bag, high chair cover, blanket (he's still learning balance), and multiple toys.  Inevitably I pull out a jar of baby food and feed him while I shovel in a few bites and eventually give up eating my meal all together deciding it's just not worth it to try and do both at the same time.

Being sick yourself is a whole other ball game.  When you're not a mom you can crawl in bed and spend the day there, only getting up for the bathroom and another box of tissues.  When you're a mom there is a little one who doesn't want to lay in a bed, and they require feeding, changing, and attention regardless of how horrible you feel.  It's almost a garauntee there will be a huge diaper blow out that will make you vomit one extra time and it will be the one day they refuse to nap, meaning you get no rest.

Instead of staying up until 11 watching tv or talking to one another, my husband and I are usually in bed before the clock hits double digits.  When Grant goes to sleep, we go to sleep.  Weekend or not there is no difference.  Babies don't know the weekend is suppose to be for sleeping in.  No, moms and dads don't get to sleep in.  Regardless of how tired you are or what day it is, Grant is up at 5am, laughing and talking wanting your attention.

Being a mom you do learn a few things, you learn how to take a 5 minute shower, you learn how to do just about anything around the house with a baby on your hip, how to change a diaper with your little one on his belly (after he learns how to roll), how to do 10 things at one time, how to do your makeup in 30 seconds flat (if you decide to put any on at all).  You learn to stay in sweats unless company is coming or you're leaving the house because projectile spit up is bound to be all over whatever you wear on a daily basis.  You can now fold laundry, type on the computer, look through grocery ads, clip coupons, and eat all with a little one grabbing at everything you are touching.  And one of the biggest things I've learned is keeping the house spotless, the laundry always caught up, the sink empty of dirty dishes, and being on time anywhere, is a waste of my time.

When people say it is the best and worst job there is, it's true, but the best far out weights the worst.  I wouldn't change anything, but that doesn't mean it doesn't take some getting used to and some adapting.  My life is no longer my own,  I have a little one who relies on me now and seeing his little smile makes all the sleepless nights, all the exhaustion, and all the tears completley worth every minute.

Full Week

I was up at 4:44am this morning, that is the time little Grant decided he wanted to wake up for all of 10 minutes, long enough for me to not be able to fall back asleep.  I was laying there thinking of all the stuff I needed to get done this week.  Why I do this to myself when I know I should be sleeping is beyond me but it happens quite frequently.

My mom is coming down to visit us this weekend, which of course means I need to clean up my craft/spare room.   Grant and I will be going back to Ohio with her so I have to make sure everything that is going with us is in order, clean, and packed.  I won't be home the week before Easter so any of my projects need to be finished this week.  My cousin asked me to help her with a bridal shower that is this Sunday so I need to make 24 cupcakes, cupcake stands, a recipe box with recipe cards and dividers, and four poms for decorations.  I will be taking baby Sophie's gift with me so I need to have everything for it finished and packaged ready to go.  All that on top of the usual feedings, diapers, laundry, dishes, dinner, and cleaning.

Seeing all that really makes me realize how much is still left to do, I better get started!

New Play Toy

Grant was doing so well at putting himself to sleep.  We used to let the swing put him to sleep but seeing as he is now 20lbs and the weight limit is approximately 25lbs on our swing, I decided a little over a month ago it was time for him to start napping in his bed like a big boy. 

We had a few rough days of crying and fussing but over all he did great in the transition.  Fast forward to the last week or so and we have a new distraction, feet.  Yes he has discovered he has two feet and loves nothing more than to play with them and suck on them.  While I find this extremely cute and have taken a dozen or more pictures of him playing with this new toy, this is not good for nap time.  You see Grant is a very stubborn 4 month old little boy who hates, yes hates, going to sleep.  He has fought it since he was two weeks old, and tends to wear me out more than himself most of the time.  He even fights eating a bottle at times because it puts him to sleep, so rather than just laying there relaxing and eating he will take a few drinks with his eyes rolling back and proceed to kick his feet, throw his arms and start screaming, only to take a few more drinks and repeat the same process all over again.

So now when he starts to get sleepy and I put him in his bed he dozes off for a moment or two then realizes he is going to sleep and begins playing with his two favorite things, his feet, a toy I can't take away or make him forget about.  Hence my dilemma.  As I type this my little one is talking to his mobile with his feet in his hand having a grand ol' time when only a few minutes ago he was practically asleep in my arms sucking his thumb.  Haha, what's a mom to do?

Giving Up

Right now I am sitting here with my son in my arms waiting for him to finally give in and fall over asleep.  He fights it like no baby I have ever known.  I tried rocking him at which time he yelled, yes I typed yelled, not a cry or a whine a yell, at me, and began flinging his arms and legs around.  He is crying in my lap at this exact minute with his thumb in his mouth, eyes rolling back in his head.

You would think that would be it and he would give up, but no.  He pops the thumb out and begins yelling at me some more.  What do I do you ask?  I give up.  After 4 months I have learned to just give up and let him wear himself completely and totally out.  I no longer rock, bounce, make laps through the house, or sing.  Turning on the mobile in his bed no longer works either.  I have come to realize these things only make him more mad because even at four months he knows I am trying to put him to sleep.  So I guess I feel like why wear myself out and stress about it when eventually he will be 100% exhausted and fall asleep. 

When he was smaller I would worry myself sick trying to make him stop crying.  I think I felt like if he were crying that meant I wasn't doing something right and that I wasn't a good mom.  Fast forward to now and I think that is pure bologna.  I have learned everytime I think I have this child figured out he changes it up on me and decides he wants to be different and throw me for a loop.  I think he likes keeping me on my toes, and I'm a little concerned this is a precurser for things to come.  I have this vision of him when he is supposed to be in bed, as a 4 year old, playing with his toys instead of sleeping even after I tell him multiple times to quit playing and go to bed.  In the morning I will find him on the floor passed out in the middle of all these toys.  It makes me smile now.  He is one stubborn little one, full of energy, and personality.  Huh, wonder where he gets that from?

Another Mom Moment

There is something so satisfying the moment you feel like you "know" your baby.  When after months of sleepless nights, endless worrying, and countless moments of looking at your crying baby thinking to yourself "I have no clue what you need", you finally realize those moments are now fewer and farther between.  I feel like I have finally learned my son and we have finally settled into a routine of sorts.  I now know by they way he sucks his thumb and puts his hand on his face that he is tired.  I know his tired cry, from his irritated cry, from his hungry cry. 

My husband unfortunately doesn't get to spend as much time with him as I do so he hasn't learned the same routine.  He was off work yesterday and while I absolutely love having him around and I know Grant does too, it's sometimes makes me smile to watch him try to get him to sleep.  I've tried really hard to get Grant to put himself to sleep.  After 3 months and countless hours of rocking and bouncing him I finally realized it was time to let him learn a little self-soothing.  My husband doesn't like to listen to him cry, I don't either but because I'm home with him every day it doesn't phase me as much.  When he starts crying my husband undoubtedly will go into the room and start talking to him trying in some way to reason with him and if that doesn't work he will pick him up and start rocking or bouncing to get him to sleep.  Maybe it's a mom thing but knowing that he can put himself to sleep and knowing how hard I worked to get him to this point I will not get into the habit of picking him up every time he makes a peep. 

Maybe it's in my head but it seems that when I follow the routine of putting him in his bed, covering him up, turning on his mobile, kissing him goodnight, and leaving the room, he goes asleep alot easier than if my husband puts him to bed.  It's almost as if even at 4 months he knows I won't get him out of bed but with a few tears it might work on dad. 

I love these moments.  With all the joy I get daily from him it makes me want another little one, well almost. Haha.

Mom Moments

Before having my son I knew exactly how I was going to raise my children and knew without a doubt in my  mind things would go just as planned (yes how crazy was I to think such a thing).  I swore my kids would not watch a bunch of tv, not have tv's in their room, no video game systems, I refused to have their rooms filled with useless pricey toys, andI thought it would be great if they didn't take a binky. 

Now my son is only 3 months old so obviously some of these things he is too young for still but the other day as he was not satisfied with anything I did.  When I sat him down he cried, when I held him he cried, the only time he was happy was when I was changing his diaper or carrying him around and he was cooing and smiling the whole time (most babies hate to have their diaper changed, my son loves it). 

I had to get stuff done around the house, so after toting all 20lbs of him around on my hip for a good 45 minutes and my arm about numb I had to put him down.  What did I do you ask, I said a silent wish that he took a binky and I turned on the Toy Story movie and laid him on his play mat in front of the tv.  Yes he loves watching Toy Story along with Curious George, and Cat in the Hat.  Now while I don't think it's ok to try to have your kids sit in front of the tv for hours on end, I don't think there is anything wrong with turning it on so you can gulp down some liquid energy, or grab a couple bites of breakfast, or just get a moment to sit and relax, and I refuse to feel bad about it. 

I think as mom's we hold ourselves to high standards.  Trying to be everything to everyone.  We try to be super mom/wife and after a while I think we have to throw our hands up and surrender to the fact that we are no June Cleaver and there is no need to try to be.

We are mom's and we need a few moments of quiet in our day to keep our sanity, and if that means watching Toy Story every day for 20-30 minutes I am 100% okay with that.