Friday, January 17, 2014

A little boy's first surgery

My little guy had surgery yesterday.  He had his tonsils taken out.  They were so large he stopped breathing during the night and snored like a grown man.  This is the first time he's really had anything done other than routine immunizations.  I've been a wreck for the last week worried about it.  Not that I didn't trust his doctor or think he was completely competent, but I'm a nurse, it's my job to know the worst case scenario. The stuff the doctors glaze over when they talk to you because the chances of it happening are slim to none.  I hear all the horror stories and they somehow get logged somewhere in my brain.

Case in point my mom told me about a little girl on the news who had her tonsils taken out and never woke up, they had her on life support and the family was fighting to keep her on it.  I knew such things can happen.  Whether it be a grown adult or a child, you never know how someone's body will react to anesthesia.  Sometimes seemingly perfectly healthy people just never wake up.  This obviously freaked me out because I had no way of knowing how Grant would do under anesthesia, since he's never had anything done.  So I prayed....A LOT.  It was all I knew to do feeling as helpless as a mother can feel.

Not only did i fear the worst case scenario but I also know my son and I knew he would scream when they took him back.  He has a severe fear of strangers.  I started talking to Grant days ago about what they were going to do and that a nice nurse would come and take him to another room where he would go to sleep for a little while.  So he knew when the nurse came in and we started giving him kisses he was leaving, and of course he started crying, reaching for me, saying "mama I need you, I don't wanna go".  My heart broke right then and there.  I couldn't stop crying.  All I wanted to do was run back, grab my little boy, and take him home.  Wouldn't any mother when their 3 year old is being taken away screaming for them?  I knew nothing I said would reassure him and once again I was helpless.

My husband reminded me this was for his health and how it was necessary.  It didn't keep me from crying but I knew he was right.  Lucky for us a tonsillectomy takes a whopping 15 minutes.  He came out of it great.  Even though when we were taken back to see him in recovery he was crying.  I knew he would be scared without someone he knew there and he would be in pain, but knowing it and then seeing him in pain are two different things.  All I could do was hold him and for the next 3 hours I refused to let him go.  After he was given some pain meds he was laughing, watching Team Umizoomi, and talking.  We were blessed.  We have a healthy little boy again and barring any complications maybe just maybe this will help his sleep habits.  His doctor said this is probably why all his life he's never slept like a normal little one should.  Even though I can't imagine him having had this done any younger than he is, he probably needed it a long time ago.  However, I think God knew neither Grant nor I could have handled it back then, so now's when it was needed, before the baby came.

Coming home with my little guy I felt so blessed he came through it all fine with nothing other than a sore throat.  Hopefully his recovery will go just as well.

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