Friday, December 27, 2013

Boy or Girl?

I have something I need to get off my chest.  So if you aren't at all interested in reading my little rant please feel free to scroll on down and skip over this post.

I am pregnant with my second little one.  My son is 3 and we have decided not to find out the gender of this one, or rather I decided not to find out since my husband is still trying to convince me otherwise.  Like most people we found out my son was a boy at our ultrasound and were more than thrilled.  However I've always wanted to be surprised and as my husband tells me this is probably our last baby, this is my last chance to have the surprise factor I've always wanted.  Our families would much rather us find out since the suspense is killing them.  I find the suspense a little fun, which is strange because I hate suspense in any other aspect of life or movies.

The  frustrating part is that almost everyone is telling us this baby "needs" to be a girl, or they want this one to be a girl, or are hoping this ones a girl.  I can honestly say, a girl would be nice since we have a boy but I have always thought Grant would be too cute with a little brother tagging along behind him.  I can picture it and it melts my heart.  I understand their wanting to buy girl things but this is something I have no control over.  Whatever this baby is, boy or girl, is already decided and it's whatever the Lord sees fit for us to have. 

People have been calling the baby a she, and by the girl name we have picked out.  I have also been given bags of infant girl clothes "in case it's a girl".  I have even been told by one laughing family member that even if we have a boy "we will dress him up like a girl" because we need to have a girl.  Am I the only one that sees issues with all this girl talk.

I am a very stubborn person, I am opinionated, but I also try to hold my tongue since my mom taught me if you have nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut, but I'm about at the end of my rope.  Part of me wants to go to my next doctor's appointment and find out the gender just to shut everyone up, but how is that fair to me.  I have even had dreams about having a boy and in the dream saying to my husband "people are going to be disappointed".  That's horrible!  I can't imagine being disappointed with either a boy or a girl and to have dreams that family members will be because all they have said for months is how much they want us to have a girl is unbelievably frustrating and a little heartbreaking.

Of course this is also similar to what everyone did to us about having another baby in general.  When Grant hit a year old, everyone started asking us when we were going to have another baby, that Grant "needed a sibling", and we needed to have another one.  We were in no way ready for another baby financially or emotionally but no one seemed to take that into consideration.  When Grant turned 2 it got even worse.  With family members we didn't see often it was the main topic of conversation our entire visit.  Unbeknownst to me 2 years is the magic age your child turns when you are supposed to automatically have your second baby, because beyond that and your kids are "too far apart" in age.

Where do people get this stuff?

To me having a baby or another baby is a very personal and private issue between yourself and your husband.  No one else's opinions should be taken into consideration and no one else should be giving their two cents unless directly asked for it. 

The same goes for whether or not you're finding out the gender of your baby, and boy or girl should not matter in the least, and if it does to you then keep it to yourself and secretly cross your fingers but don't open your mouth about it.  Healthy is all anyone should be hoping for, as there is a 50/50 chance of either gender and there are reasons we are given what we are given, we just don't know them yet.

My rant is done now, just needed to put it out there so I can stop stewing about it and maybe let it go and laugh it off.

Ok probably won't laugh it off but at least maybe stop letting it bother me so much.  The next months will fly by and soon enough we will know one way or the other, and others can be excited or not but I will be thrilled just to have another little one and Grant to have a sibling.

1 comment:

  1. I can honestly relate! My girls are 3yrs and 3mths apart ON PURPOSE. My little one is now 5mths and the big one loves her sister so much it's beautiful. She really understands that she's a baby and hardly ever gets jealous and when she does have an issue, she's old enough to tell me. Brilliant! I thought my little one was a boy and I was prepared for that but we found out the sex and I was thrilled for another girl. Now everyone is telling me to go back for a boy even when I'm adamant that finished having babies. They give me the sad face, but you must have a boy. Why? I love my girls and I don't really want 3 kids. How does that benefit me?! Thanks for sharing. My rant is also over now!



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